Y’all I’m sharing something extremely personal with you!
One minuet I’m fine and the next I can feel a surge of emotions. I start to feel warm. You know that feeling when you are about to get on a roller coaster, that feeling kicks in. My heart begins to race so fast and so hard it almost hurts. I feel sick to my stomach. Then the thoughts happen. I can’t think but I’m think about everything, worrying about everything. The only emotion at this point I know or can even express is crying and the idea of this happening makes everything worse. I don’t want to cry, I was fine a second ago, I want to be able to control my emotions. I feel so much heaviness in my chest, in my back, in my legs. That once boarding a roller coaster feeling has morphed into a shaky scared heart pounding adrenaline overdose. Sometimes I can get away with just these feelings and a cry to help get through it and its over within 2-8 min. Other times it escalates just a little more and I am in full on loosing my shit mode. I breathe harder. So hard I can’t seem to catch that big deep breath to subside this thought that I’m not fully breathing without it. I hyperventilate and ugly ugly cry all at the same time. There is no going back. I am lost. I feel so many different emotions and all I want is to help myself. I want to control myself. This drains me as it can last anywhere from 10-1hour and I am stuck feeling the effects for most of the day.
Before I got pregnant I was seeking help. There is nothing wrong with asking for help and there is nothing wrong or shameful or embarrassing to need medication along with professional counseling. Coming to terms with that took me a while and one of the main reasons I refused in the past to seek help. Using medication doesn’t have to be a permanent thing!
Once I found out I was expecting my 3rd baby I stopped taking any and all medication.
It has not been easy at all. I struggle. But I have found there are some things that do work to help me out. Not every time do I escape from having a full on attack but for me these few techniques have helped me cope naturally during my pregnancy.
Pray. Pray Pray. The power of prayer. That is all.
I notice I am less likely to have an anxiety attack if I am a listening to music. Music in general is a great why to lift your spirits and put you in a positive mood. When I feel myself getting overwhelmed and stressed out I love to put on my playlist and jam! Music tends to take me back to a certain time/memory and give me those feel good vibes.
Essential oils! I am a firm believer in essential oils. My anxiety was the reason I started using them. I won’t go into a lot about the in this post but you can read more HERE. When I feel stressed or overwhelmed, even irritated I reach for an oil or two. I take them everywhere with me and smell them throughout the day. I put my oils on everyday and diffuse them throughout the day and always at night (lavender). A few favorites I use in these instances are Idaho Blue Spruce, Stress Away, and a blend I created with tons of rose oil in it. If you want to learn more about essential oils shoot me an email firstname.lastname@example.org or message me on Insta!
I crave ice during pregnancy. Its normal but I take it overboard and have to have a specific type of ice. The Sonic crushed ice. Did you know you can buy Sonic ice by the bag full!!! Unfortunately there aren’t any Sonics here in Bahrain so I had to look elsewhere. Luckily I found some a Johnny Rockets and they kindly fill up up my zip lock bag every week! lol I think chewing on ice keeps me distracted and busy and my mind doesn’t have a chance to wander off into a spiral of crazy thoughts that eventually leads to an attack. Plus I’m staying hydrated so thats great!
If all else fails I completely avoiding it all together and take a nap! There are days when I just can’t and no matter what I try or do I am feeling so shaky and overwhelmed the only thing that helps is a nap. Just sleep it off. I can usually take a successful nap and other times I just lay there while my thoughts go crazy. After a nap I feel refreshed like its a new start to my day and I can wake up with a more positive outlook.
Just go with it
Really when all else fails….I just go with it. It sucks but the process of trying to control my emotions and feelings and avoid an attack that hasn’t happened makes things 29375925790 times worse and sometimes the only thing that helps is to just let it happen. Its hard but its not going to last forever plus a good cry usually makes me feel so much better. I reach for my husband or my family via FB calls to get me through it. Talking to me, just being there, not fully understanding but completely supportive and loving. I hate the idea of handling it alone now that I know what its like to have full support.
You don’t have to worry alone, stress alone, panic alone, do life alone. Ask for help. Its important. You need it and will be able to get through it with someone in your corner.